I Used To Doubt It, But Now I Believe It

Arcade Fire “Month of May”

A few weeks ago, I woke up with a melody running on a loop in my head. It was a simple, vaguely eerie keyboard riff, it made me think of cars zooming along roads at night, turning around curves, lights moving along lines in darkness. The part was isolated in my mind; I couldn’t place it. I’ve heard so many songs, figuring out what it was would be a needle-in-a-haystack endeavor. I forgot about it.

Not long after, I was listening to the Arcade Fire and realized that the keyboard part was at the end of “Month of May,” one of the best songs on their new album. It’s actually a fairly prominent part of the composition, but it’s the big blaring guitar, shouted vocals, and rhythmic hooks that take up space in your memory. You remember the Neil Young-ness, you remember the uncharacteristic punk-ness, and the moody synth part digs into your unconscious.

“Month of May” distills all the anxieties on The Suburbs into a four minute burst of restless energy. It’s the feeling of needing something more, of driving around aimlessly in pursuit of some ill-defined excitement, of wanting something that just isn’t coming. It’s the sound of trying to be active, but having nothing to do. The noise builds and the beat has a violence to it, but it’s all thrashing around for nothing, like trying to kick and punch at the very concept of one’s boredom while believing in stuff that’s probably just as illusory — “some things are pure and some things are right.” Yeah, yeah. So why are the kids still standing with their arms…folded…tight?

When the keyboard part comes in, that’s when the sinking feeling hits, and you resign yourself to futility after acting out. It’s knowing that you can’t escape that desire for something else, even if the idea isn’t fully formed in your mind. The grass is always greener, the lights are always a bit brighter on the other side of wherever you are. Even still — rocking out, making a record about how you feel, trying to start again — it’s worth a shot.

Buy it from Amazon.