Strike A Violent Pose

My Chemical Romance “Teenagers”

I would have loved this song when it came out in the mid-00s, but I didn’t ever listen to it because I’d decided that My Chemical Romance and most of their mainstream emo MySpace rock peers were not worth my attention. I was in my mid-20s, was distancing myself from most rock music, and incredibly dismissive of the tastes of white suburban American kids. In other words, at the time “Teenagers” was released, teenagers scared the living shit out of me. But I hear it now, and I just think about what a fool I was to ignore this. This is exactly the sort of vibrant, catchy rock song I have loved at every stage of my life. Whoops.

“Teenagers” is a glam metal song in goth drag. Reduced to an elevator pitch, it’s Mötley Cüre. Gerard Way sings the song with an exuberant clarity but his lyrics are incredibly ambivalent, shifting back and forth between fear and empathy. It’s mostly the latter – Way is acutely aware of how awful being a teen can be, and his terror is mostly rooted in knowing that it only seems to get worse on kids and the kids seem to just get worse in turn. This is a song about teens in which the constant threat of mass murder is a major factor in growing up, and how the classic psychological tortures of adolescence seem quaint in that context. In Way’s mind, these kids are hardened, desensitized, and ready to snap at any moment. Who wouldn’t be scared of ‘em, even when they’re your target audience?

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