Everything Extraordinaire

Pavement “Old to Begin”

I took art classes at Pratt on weekends in my senior year of high school, and took the train down to Manhattan from where I grew up in the suburbs. Not long after Brighten the Corners came out, I developed a routine upon arriving at Grand Central. As soon as the door of the Metro North train opened, I’d start the album on “Stereo,” with its wobbling intro shifting into a mellow strut. I’d play the album through on my way to Bleecker Street, and like clockwork, “Old to Begin” would start up as I got out of the subway train and walked up to the street. I heavily associate “Old to Begin” with that visual, and the feeling of being a teenager so hyped up about New York City and art and music. (Still my three favorite things!) I don’t think I felt ~cool~, but I definitely felt cooler than I’d ever been, and just wanted to soak up as much of Stephen Malkmus’ casual genius and effortlessly chill in the hope that I could be even a little more like that. (Still a thing I’m trying to do!)

Malkmus was 30 when Brighten the Corners was recorded, and it’s pretty clear from the lyrics that he was thinking a lot about aging, and what aspects of adulthood and domesticity were appealing to him, and what just seemed like an empty ritual. He’s thinking about a lot of things that inspire a lot of anxiety and tension in other people, but at most, there’s only traces of those feelings on Brighten. It’s not about the fear of growing older, but rather what happens when you’re old enough to feel comfortable being yourself, and relax and go with the flow a bit. Everything on the record sounds sunny and nonchalant, even when he drifts into moments of doubt or regret. Music is rarely so well-adjusted, with every note, thought, image, and feeling given weight, but also a sense of appropriate perspective.

“Old to Begin” is loosely about a young person’s idea of feeling old, which is usually melodramatic self-deprecation, or reaching for a status that hasn’t been attained just yet. There’s a nice sturdy sway to the rhythm of this song – it doesn’t quite convey swagger, but it does get across a playful confidence. There’s a litany of minor complaints in the lyrics, but the sound shrugs it all off, and nudges in the direction of some bolder, brighter feeling.

And underneath all that, “Old to Begin” is a very low-key breakup song. He’s telling you that he’ll “set you back” in the chorus, and proposes a mutually beneficial end to a relationship: “Time came that we drifted apart and found an unidentical twin.” I’ve always liked that line because there’s no ill will in it at all, just this acknowledgment that a relationship has run its course, and that it doesn’t have to be a sad thing. From his perspective, they both need something challenging and new, and he doesn’t want to get in the way. I can see how being told this could be infuriating, but I think it’s ultimately very thoughtful and kind.

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