The Only Reason I’m Alive

Pulp “I Love Life”

I’ve been under a lot of stress recently, and very often these days it feels as though I am unhappy about virtually every aspect of my life. Last night I learned of some very bad news that makes everything much, much worse. After taking a brief call from someone who was worried about me, I lied down on my bed with my back flat to the mattress and stared at my ceiling while this song by Pulp played on repeat for at least a half hour. It was the only thing I could do. It helped.

“I Love Life” is a rare and special song, the sort that makes a case for living that is unsentimental and bluntly logical: What else are you going to do? It’s the only thing you’ve got, really. The lyrics deliberately avoid the simple and the saccharine, and that makes it even more affecting, as there are certain truths that just sound better coming from a cynic. Jarvis Cocker is gentle but forthright, and though he is speaking for himself, it comes out sounding like advice for everyone. It starts with a feeling of resignation — “mum and dad have sentenced you to life” — but as it builds, the tone becomes increasingly defiant, til at the end Cocker sounds as though he is literally fighting for his life. The point here isn’t to hold on, but to endure and survive. If there’s any triumph to be had, it’s simply to overcome anything that tries to knock you down and take you out.

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