Spanish Panthers Gored By Antlers

Doleful Lions “Strange Vibrations” – Now that it’s easy and affordable for DIY and indie musicians to make their own studio quality recordings on mass market equipment, the old lo-fi production style of the late 80s and early 90s has become more of an aesthetic decision than an option predetermined by economic factors. The Doleful Lions are certainly using the lo-fi sound to their advantage, as they bring their odd folk songs about magic, D&D-style fantasy, and satanic rituals to life with evocative bits of noise and carefully manipulated distortions as though it was the musical equivalent of cgi special effects. It’s such a small detail, but the thing that puts this particular song over the top for me is their clever use of distorted breath sounds on the microphone as a percussive element in the arrangement. (Click here to buy it from Darla.)

The Planet The “Please Don’t Kill Myself” – Memo to System of a Down, The Mars Volta, Coheed & Cambria, et al: Now that your nu-prog style has undeniably achieved mainstream success in the United States, it has become increasingly difficult for me to avoid your awful, awful music. Would you please consider following The Planet The’s example so that I can at least tolerate your music when I have to, say, watch you play on tv chat shows or hear you on the stereo when I pick up my comic books at the local Dork Shack? Here are five things you all can learn from them:

1) Just because you are prog, it doesn’t mean you can’t have hooks and catchy bits. The Planet The can do it; it is not impossible that you can too. You don’t have to be this glam and flamboyant, but it wouldn’t hurt.
2) Hey, this song is less than three minutes long! What a great idea!
3) Heavy metal guitars: boring, cliched, the musical equivalent of flogging a dead horse. Heavy metal keyboards: interesting, rare, so much potential.
4) The constant shifts in rhythm in this song create a feeling of nervous tension and drama, as opposed to just sounding overblown or scattered.
5) The Planet The do not have embarassing facial hair or ridiculous haircuts. Seriously, System of a Down. You are not wizards, pirates, or from outer space; please cut your hair!

(Click here to buy it from Buy Olympia.)