THE-THE-THE ROCK

Thank you, Matthew, for having me over, especially since I stood you up the first time. If we do this again, I’ll bring my passions. Today, I have questions.

“Nickelback Sucks” – Nine different strangers emailed me an anonymous MP3 a few months ago. Its original title is “Nickelback Sucks.” My theory is that the real title is “A Whole Kind of Music Sucks” but the fella who cut this together was too much the coward to cop to the concept. The “critical engine” here is that Nickelback’s “How You Remind Me,” the most popular song of 2002 (and 2003?) is structurally identical to their recent hit “Someday.” Lay the songs on top of each other, as our anonymous hater has done (haterz are always nameless, aren’t they?), and we discover the mimesis. Hardy har. Silly, overwrought, unoriginal Jesus Christ Superstars!

But self-similarity can’t really be the point, can it? Would the demographic feel the same way about three Pole tracks laid on top of each other? (Not that you could tell.) Two Ramones verse-chorus affairs stacked up? The Magnetic Fields folded onto themselves, give or take maraca? Hell, I don’t care if someone repeats him or herself, as long as he or she repeats something that works. I think most pop listeners agree and pay attention to results, not Checkpoint Charlie ideas about idiosyncrasy. Only the mad and miserable would deny “Pass The Dutch” because it was kinda like a bunch of other Mosley/Elliott kutchies. As Joshua Clover pointed out to me, “How You Remind Me” is like a Squeeze song: one killer hook run, full speed, into another. Who doesn’t want a Squeeze song wearing Man Rock slacks? Other than a crazy, profligate, crazy person? “Someday” is a lesser single with a better conceit, sort of a grey market rebuild of the engine inside Prince’s “I Could Never Take The Place Of Your Man”: I love you, but it isn’t happening right now. Build-up, desire for resolution, then deferral. Problem is, “Someday” has some lame-ass verses and is an unworthy heir. Whatevs. But what it is exactly that people hate? The sincerity? The Broadway vocalizing? The hair? Do they hate, perhaps, the nation of millions goldbacking Nickelback? It’s impossible to point this finger without people resorting to taste: “Come on, we’re open-minded. We love pop. Nickelback just suck!” It is hard for me to think of a band I love that doesn’t have some flaw, maybe even a big flaw. I’d love to see a discussion in the comments section. (It would be nice to not revert to “Nickelback sucks!” but do what you gotta do.)

Bluebird “Falling Back To Earth” – Bluebird feel related. They’re on Dim Mak, a hip label. Most of their EP is accomplished, hyper, young man rock watermarked very clearly “2004.” But the first song on this record could be a Buckcherry B-side, and Buckcherry were never tied particularly to the present moment. It’s hot and it’s the first song, so they probably like it as much as I do. (Nobody accidentally puts the best song first.) The singer has neither Joshua Todd’s pipes nor his attitude, but he does a great job moving between hairy, sweaty boy verses and the coasting, girly choruses, a move I will not shortchange. Here’s the chorus now: “Falling back to earth….only to be cut for change?” What is he saying? No matter. Dude is falling back to earth. He skipped Ground Control and just went out there without permission. Listen to the chunked out changes and alpha swagger and then tell me, honestly, how different this is from Nickelback or Buckcherry. Then ask yourself why you care. (Click here to buy it from Dim Mak.)

Josh Todd “The Walls” – Why anyone would care? is a question Joshua Todd must have asked himself at least once. Buckcherry broke up a year or two ago. Who noticed? Todd released a solo album in January of this year. I had no idea. Who did? I only know because moments ago, in an eruption of email kismet, I received notice from a publicist that Todd is now touring this album. Unlike Bluebird, who are poised to enter the indie label pipeline and get their clippings on, Todd is major label refugee putting out his own records. This is a not cool. This is a categorical mismatch. It’s like Dr. Dre on Navarre. If you’re a de jure rock star, you need hotel windows to jump out of and town cars to befoul. You need a budget. Big personalities burn big advances. And yet, Todd continues on the dolo. You Made Me isn’t on a par with the final Buckcherry album Timebomb, an improbably torqued and resonant thing, overstuffed in every direction. You Made Me is more modest, built to accommodate—it’s modern rock with domestic themes and minor modes. But it still has Todd’s voice, which transforms a generic bid into a useful record. I don’t entirely buy “The Walls” but I’m happy to hear Todd run his sales pitch over and over. I hope to see Todd working on Babylon’s dime again. (Click here to buy it from Josh Todd’s official site.)