It Might As Well Hurt

Hole “Use Once and Destroy”

“Use Once and Destroy” has a violent, churning sound and feels enormous in scope, like a raging storm in the middle of the ocean. Courtney Love’s voice sings with equal parts defiance and despair, vowing to rescue someone she cares about but knows she will almost certainly fail. She’s angry, resentful, and emotionally exhausted. She knows she’s about to hurt herself doing this.

I hear this as a love song. This is devotion and passion on a grand scale, and as difficult and tragic as it is, it seems a bit enviable too. What really gets to me about this song is that the love is so unconditional – she hates the mess they’re in, she hates having to try to clean it up. But she’s willing to give up a lot for them, and is trying to find strength enough for both of them. When you consider Love’s biography, and that she was only a few years out from the suicide of her husband, the song becomes even more agonizing and poignant – is this a fantasy about saving him? Is this the person she wishes she could’ve been for him? Is this really just regret?

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